our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize