I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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