I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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