I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
