**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize