Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
