the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
