he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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