If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
