he shaved USA in his pubs
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
