we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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