Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
