My friends, they love my intelligence
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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