the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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