If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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