My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
