So drunk, too bad you don't want this
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
