what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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