He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize