I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
