Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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