google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
