You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize