I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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