i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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