Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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