why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
These tits shall not be calmed
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
