Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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