I wannas sexs uuuuu
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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