Moan for me like Helen Keller
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
