I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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