at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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