I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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