loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
