cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We are all done wearing pants today
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
