Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
