My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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