I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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