so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
