she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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