She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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