I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
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