the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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