I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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