So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
