I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Be still, my beating vagina.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
