My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
