69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
