I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
