yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
