I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize