i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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