I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
