Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
