you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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