question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
