dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
