2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
