My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
