I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
