Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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