Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
