i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
