Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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