He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
