Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize